I have not really been successful in my crusade to not drink this week...as a matter of fact I've drank every night since Wednesday all the way through last night. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun this weekend but I really can't keep doing this to myself. I've barely gotten over being pretty sick, I'm now exhausted b/c your quality of sleep sucks when you're drunk, I did no homework, and I didn't even feel that great yesterday and I STILL went out and drank. There are no words for how guilty I feel...I almost feel like I'm punishing myself, though I'm not quite sure for what. Maybe for doing poorly in school, and still being in debt...which would be weird since drinking will only make those two things worse. I'm trying not to really beat my self up for it because that negativity will also get me no where. I still have my goal, I'm still going to work on it, I'm going to find a way that works.
Friday night I found out my drivers license is suspended yet again and I won't have the time to go to Salem until Thursday or Friday to go figure it all out...stressful.
This guy I dated very briefly totally wigged out on me Wednesday. He's seriously weird and freaks me out when he gets drunk. Last week he was being a huge passive aggressive jerk to me while I was working at the bar all night. He tried to tell me (not ask, tell) that I was giving him a ride home after I got off work...which I didn't. I went next door to the other bar for a few drinks. He was acting all creepy and weird and they kicked him out of the bar. I gave him his key (NOT so he could drive himself home, but so I wouldn't have to see him later to give it back to him)...long story short he ends up making a HUGE scene. He was banging both of his fists on the plexy glass windows out front and yelling my name at the top of his lungs...woooooooooow. Needless to say the owners of the bar gave me a ride home that night and my boss has 86'd him from my work while I'm there. Next time I'll take every one's word for it...
I'm also behind in school work now. I've procrastinated so much because the work I have in my classes is so easy but now I'm going to have to get it all done this week and I work 3 nights this week. This just makes me get all stressed out and I wish I could just give up instead of doing it. How dumb does that sound? I've really gotten down and lazy lately...which I completely despise. This is also thanks to captain alcohol. Fuck. Must it really affect all aspects of my life? I need to get my shit together...until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment